>Mixed up day

>My fellow knitters far along. I promess to writte in English so I will. Unfortunatelly this is not a very good day to talk about. Everything was messed up to a point where I simply want to go to bed an wait to the day finishes.

It all began in the early morning, 10 am. (Yes, that is early morning for me… jejeje). The bed simply push me out the blankets. It was the rush, the anxiety. I knew, since I went to bed the night before, that my mom will come to see me. I was nervous. Nervous to the point of not enjoy sleeping.

Don’t misunderstand me: I love my mom. She is one incredible woman. If you talk to her 15 minutes, you learn something. And she knows everyhting you want to learn about Theology, and Philosofy. But we… just don’t mix well. So al the time between knowing she will come, and the moment she actually arrives… is just a bad recall of the last visit, and how bad it went. Im pridsposed, and I can’t help it. History taught me not to.

You might be wondering, if this is sooooo terrible, why do you still see her? Well, she is my mom. She taught me to create beatiful things with my hands. She show me my first access to Philosofy, and -most of all- she saved my leg when I burn it to the bone. So, I love her. And she is old. And I want to suck her up so I can be some day as intelligent as she is. How not to love her? She is so beautifull and wise…

So, she came. And all those things I’ve been afraid of became truth, one by one. It is so… frustrating that I couldn’t enjoy the few kind words that she manage to say.

When she leaved I went to the refugy arround the corner. All the knitters were there. I wasn’t going to tell them all this, but it was all over my face and they know better. And this people, who saw me for the first time just a week ago, cheer me up in the most beautifull and sincere way: Trae tu tejido y cuéntanos.

I couldn’t went to my house and actually bring my knitting bag, it was late and I have to feed my family. But that 10 minutes in the company of all my new knitting friends, the yarns in the shelves, the sound of the needles knitting a sweater, a bikini, a shrug… It was soothing. It was like a big, warm, soft apapacho. Like a big cup of chocolate at the precise temperature and swettness. It was perfect.

The cherry on the top: in my other refugy, the virtual one, my other knitters friends were struggling with the dictionary to undestand my spanish posts. Another big hug.

So it must be truth: knitting is a Zen exercise. Stitch by stitch you create a paralel universe, where any kind of mistakes can be fixed and brings you the oportunitty to create again.


4 Comentarios Agrega el tuyo

  1. Cheryl dice:

    >Sorry you had such a hard time with your mother. I love the way your write…especially this post 🙂

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  2. M dice:

    >Yeah.. sad. Yesterday I thought: Its really something breaking inside you, something like a bone, or a piece of wood in your heart when a person that is suppossed to make you feel protected, comfortable, cozy.. makse you feel exactly the other way arround. Sad. But it is like this. And I have to see the best part of it, don’t you think?Thanx for writting, and for enjoying it.

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  3. >apapacho! What wonderful images you give. parallel universe! I love your writing. I had much difficulty with my mum too. I went through one year when I wouldn’t talk to her I was so mad (because she wouldn’t come visit me for years and years) Then she got sick from melanoma cancer and died. Whew. That was the hardest thing in my life. So, who wants to lecture, but of course, it’s good you try to see her anyhow. Remember humor when she’s around! que es echar chal? cheers, Victoise (Charkut, my last name)

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  4. M dice:

    >Wonderfull to see you here Vic. A Psycologist teacher once told me: If you became a therapeutist, remember this: the only thing yo have to ask is ¿And your mother? jejejeje…Probably right. It is always difficult to have a good relation with either your fahter or your mom. Sorry about your relationship, and your lost, and the empty space… Its because I know that my mom will not be here forever that I try to find ways for us to be happy together. I origginally enter the blog to publish an epilogue about this story, cause somthing happen just two days after the “Awfull vist”. So.. im going to just now.Thanks for loving my writting!!!!! For what I know, it is better that my knitting!!! JejejejePD: Echar chal significa…. mmm it an expression. When we say: Vamos a echar chal, we mean lets go to gossip arround evrything. But the literal translation of chal is shawl. And in that strict sense, echar chal, also means: lets knit a swal. So, when knitting a swal, we are also knitting another talkative swal.

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